Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Looking Back



There once lived a girl in her early teens, she was bitter and full of hate. She flunked in school and argued with her teachers. Though to see her you would never think so, Though her eyes burned with hate when she got around someone she felt had done her wrong she was for the most part, at least outwardly cheerful.

But she was in hidden denial of attority unless it made since to her. The fact was she was afraid and depressed. For years now she had suppressed her imagination to the point where it backfired on her every chance it got.

Then with the death of her grandmother and a horrid accident involving her mother and two younger siblings (none of which were killed) she was driven deep into depression.

Not everyday was dreary but for the most part she just wanted to die. She tried six different times to commit suicide but each time God intervened in a amazing way.

First time she tried to get bit by a snake. She though she found one and took of her shoes and stepped on it... it ended up being a pile of sticks.

Another time she jumped off the bank of a deep gully and landed on a old soft thing and bounced.

Another time she tried to kill herself someone found her and talked her out of it.
She made that friend promise not to tell anyone about it and she didn't. Nobody knew.
 
You may be asking yourself now "Who is this?"

This girl was me three years ago. And I will admit to being ashamed of my actions at that time. I was a true hypocrite. I pretended that everything going fine, but as you can tell things weren't.

And I will tell you I am not that way anymore. I don't remember exactly what triggered the change. Perhaps the fact I let me use my imagination again, maybe it was the fact that I started witting down my songs and poem here. Maybe it was working with horses, or my being able to read my Bible for myself. Probably it was everything working together. Whatever it was God has worked in my life. I can honestly say I am not that girl anymore.

Life is a beautiful thing, it may not be easy, but I am not afraid like I was to face my problems head on. God is good and he cares for me in amazing ways. Everything that has happened over the last two years has worked for good to make me a happier person. I am not perfect, but killing myself won't help matters any. Suicide is simply a perminate answer to a temporary problem. And it is completely unnecessary.

This is why this year I am thankful for life, I am thankful for those around me, I am thankful for my imagination, and being who I am and what I am.


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Being Supportive



(Based on Philippians 2:3-11)

May I not do get into fights over who should do it.
Or brag over what I've done.
But in humility may I see other's work more important than my own.
I should not look at what I've done with prideful air, but I should look around to see what still needs to be done.
Let me think the way Jesus thought.
For he was the image of god and did not think it robbery to be equal with him.
But he humbled himself, and being a nobody was willing to be a servant, in the form of human flesh.
And he humbled himself furter, he was willing not only to die, but die painfully hanging by nails in his hands and feet to a cross.
Wherefore God has put him at his right hand and given him a name that is above every name.
That  at his name all things whether in heaven or earth or under the earth shall bow and proclaim him King of kings and Lord of lords, to the glory of GOD the FATHER.
So as Jesus was willing to support his family so shalt I e're be willing to support mine.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Dear Santa 2012


It is that time of year again. (sigh) the time of the year where we all run around like chickens with their heads chopped off (Believe me I have seen that for real, it is rather funny to watch.)

It is also that time of the year that we are all expected to write down what we want. so here is my list
(Please family and friends, stick with this list as much as possible, we do not have room for much right now)


  1. A new alarm clock. with multiple sounds and tep. on it. I am not even hearing my alarm anymore when it does go off. (which sometimes it forgets) 
  2. A Kendle Fire or Android Tablet. 
  3. Piano book for learning cords. 
  4. Chair for my room 
  5. CHOCOLATE (Dark, mint, strawberry) 
  6. Zebra Bed set 
  7. Size 9 narrow teni shoes 
  8. Liberty Kids complete series
  9. Money for Family Physician kit from doTERRA  (you have to scroll down) 
  10. Snacks for my tummy ;D 
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